Pluck Chickens, Not Your Eyebrows.

"Will that be a leg or a thigh?"

I used to chase this one chicken around the family farm in Greece when I was a child. Back then, anyone would have seen her as my only friend. Truth be told, there was nothing else to do but chase her – that is, after escaping from the stank outhouse in the middle of the night. (Don’t believe me? Check this out.) Well none of it mattered: one day I found out that my grandfather had plucked it’s feathers right off. (Cue the scene of a table of Greeks fighting over greasy chicken legs and maybe one teary-eyed kid.)

Reminiscing about that poor chicken reminded me of something else that is similarly as unfortunate and sad: over-groomed eyebrows. Especially on men.

Yes, we see it often but hopefully we’re not looking at them right now. Are you? Only you know the answer to this one. But don’t worry. And don’t stop reading. This is something we can change together!

It is no secret that I am half-Greek and half-Italian. That means my chances of having been born with two distinct and separate eyebrows was slim to none. I don’t know if you are up against the same odds, but whatever the case is, please know that we do not have to settle for a face that is reminiscent of La Bête. At the same time, there is no reason to look like you have taken a page out of the Pete Burns playbook. (In case you haven’t seen Pete Burns after he spun us right ’round, wait until the end of this article.)

Gentlemen, this is likely one of the most noticeable things on your face. So why go and screw it up?

Keeping your ‘brows under control is simpler than you think: first remove any unwanted hairs by combing them forward; trim strays with a small scissor. As far as tweezers go – and here’s where the tweezing, not plucking, comes in and what to remove –  let a professional take care of it the first time if you’d like; you can follow the lines they give you from there. You can always turn to a partner; they’re able to see what’s best for your features. Oh, and if you can leave the wax for making candles, please for the love of everything outside of MTV, do so! I should say here that you don’t have to go to a spa, unless you want to, as long as you come out looking like you are on the right end of the evolutionary chart. And I do mean right. Have you seen the left side? Those guys weren’t worried about promoting car insurance.

Let’s spend one final moment as to when to do this grooming. If you’re looking in the mirror after a few drinks and you see more than one of you; turn away. The Magic 8 Ball should be reading: “Try Again Later.” Similarly, if you’re doing it after you read a fashion blog written by some guy who’s telling you to trim your brows – wink wink – you might want to pause. The most important reason to do them, aside from wanting to look your best is… wait a sec. The only reason you should do them is to look your best. But guys, please notice i said “them” as in more than one. Yes, you should have more than one eyebrow. Unless you’re a yellow puppet who loves watching pigeons.

As I conclude this post – and funnily enough – I’m finding that one can get over a chicken-friend getting plucked down to nothing, but not when the same is done to eyebrows.

There is a lesson here, indeed. And here are a few more lessons…



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